CRIME SCENE ROMANCE – A VALENTINE’S POEM

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creative writing / Obsessions / Poetry / Sexuality

CRIME SCENE ROMANCE

I fell
in love with the colour
of your blood
mixed
with mine —
a deep garnet
red — almost
black
except when you
looked
at it in the light
streaming
through the
broken
glass window
that I smashed
aching
for your
attention.

We own
the biggest
knives
you’ve ever seen
and I nail
razor blades
to the door
handles
to stop
you leaving
and

our welcome
mat says
love —
inside
a pretty little
heart
like the ones i draw
all over
your chest
when you’re sleeping —
while the kitchen
tiles are
splattered
with the inside of my
stomach
and the smears
of your attempts
to clean me
all up.

i stitch
up soft palate —
ruptured
from all those words
I couldn’t
say
while my
twitching
aorta artery
pumps
in the syllables
of your name.
I have always
been a crime
scene,
but with you —
It’s all so
much more

romantic.

 

G.M Stone (Psycho Cinderella) February 3rd, 2017.

If you liked this rather violent but romantic poem, stay on the look out for my pamphlet/chapbook of poetry that I’ll be bringing out in May!

MY TOP 5 MOST ROMANTIC MOVIES

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Film Reviews / Lists / Obsessions / What I Love

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I’ve never been much for typical romance. I’ve never seen Dear John, or The Notebook, and I giant teddy bears creep me out. But with Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I’m done denying that I’m not a romantic…I’m just not romantic in the ways that perhaps others are. When thinking of the films to pick for this list I was tempted to include Natural Born Killers…you know, the film about the serial killing couple banned in some countries. The scene where they perform their own wedding ceremony on the bridge is so beautifully romantic to me – but don’t recommend me a therapist just yet – as I’ve actually managed to find five romantic dramas that I actually do enjoy, and these have a lot less murder.

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SPLIT – FILM REVIEW

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Film Analysis / Film Reviews / Obsessions

(SPOILER FREE)

SPLIT, written and directed by the talented M. Night Shyamalan, starring the wonderful James McAvoy, Anya Taylor-Joy and Betty Buckley. The film follows McAvoy as he plays a character with split personality disorder, also known as dissociative personality disorder, after he kidnaps three girls and interacts with them in each of his personalities.

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THREE FILM REVIEWS – ARRIVAL, ALLIED & THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN

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Film Reviews / Obsessions / What I Love

Apologies are in order before I start this blog post. I have been tragically neglecting my blog for a while now, and films that I’ve seen have came and gone and I’m still yet to review them. My only excuse is that I’m in my third year of university and also well…I spend far too much of my free time napping. I’m not kidding, I really did just wake up from a nap…

I figured since I’ve been meaning to review a few recent films, I’d compile them into one blog post, telling you the basics, and why (or why not) you should go and see the film!

First up is ARRIVAL – a science fiction based on a 1998 short story titled “Story of Your Life”. Directed by Denis Villeneuve and written by Eric Heisserer, the film stars the lovely Amy Adams, Jeremy Renner and Forest Whitaker.

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Going into Arrival, I was expecting a pretty decent film about aliens. That’s what the trailer suggested, and as a keen alien lover (that sounds strange but then, I guess it is) I was excited by the premise of aliens coming to earth and instead of it being a dramatic and violent world war, people actually try and use education and knowledge to translate their language and communicate with them, to find out why they’re here. Along with UFO’s and Aliens, another one of my interests is in linguistics and language, so I was really excited to see how the two came together in the film. 

But Arrival turned out to be much more than what I expected. I came out actually experiencing something touching, something beautiful and thoughtful, and something that felt like one of those films that stay with you forever. As much as Arrival is of course, about aliens coming to earth and the different countries figuring out how they’re going to deal with it amongst the wide spread panic, it’s also more importantly about Amy’s character and her impact on the world, the events of her life, and how intricately connected the world is.

Something I’m really interested in is the concept of time and how it may not be as linear as we perceive it, and how that links into death, other universes and dimensions and the theory that the past, present and future is all happening at once. Arrival not only touched on these subjects, but really brought them down to a personal level with Amy’s character, and represented the aliens in a very ‘human’ way, one that I could understand and relate to, something that has not often been done in films before. The CGI for the aliens was also incredibly unique, kind of frightening, and incredibly intriguing to see on a massive screen in front of you. landscape-1474899549-arrival-poster

I found Arrival to be an incredibly thought provoking, touching and beautiful film. It gave me much, much more than I expected, and seemed to come at a time when I was already questioning some of the elements that we’re brought up in the film, connecting with me on more than just a enjoyment level. I really recommend this film even if you’re not into aliens, but if all you want is a quick and easy sci-fi about aliens coming to earth and reeking havoc…this film probably isn’t for you.

PSYCHO CINDERELLA’S RATING – 10/10

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The next film on my list to discuss is ALLIED, a world war two romantic thriller starring Brad Pitt and the wonderful Marion Cotillard, directed by Robert Zemeckis and written by Steven Knight.

I was really intrigued by the trailer for Allied, it seemed fast paced and interesting, a thriller to keep you guessing until the end. Following the story of an intelligence officer and a resistance fighter, the two meet in Nazi occupied Casablanca in French Morocco, and fall in love, deciding to get married and spend their lives together back in London.

The characters of Max and Marianne are incredibly endearing. Marianne particularly, played by Marion, was incredibly captivating to watch on screen, and the perfect choice for a character who was supposed to be loved by everyone, the life and soul of a party. Happily married and now with a child, Anna, one day Max is called into Special Operations and is told that they suspect his wife of being a german spy. Obviously Max is angry and confused, as you would if someone just accused your partner of such a thing, but is told if the test they plant works, it will prove she is a german spy and he will be ordered to kill her.

allied1Of course as a loving husband, Max is completely convinced his wife is not a german spy. But the seed of doubt has been planted, and it itches away at Max from the moment he gets home, escalating into something much bigger, as the we the audience are right there with him, wondering if the charming and lovely Marianne is actually a traitor.

The film actually doesn’t have that much action, especially not as much as I was expecting. But that’s not so much a criticism, I actually found the film to be very touching and quite sophisticated, relying on the jeopardy of the problem Max faces as enough to be thrilling for the audience. I felt the film ended quicker than expected, and was lacking just a touch of something I can’t put my finger on, but overall moved me by the emotional ending and stuck with me for a while.

PSYCHO CINDERELLA’S RATING – 6/10

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Lastly I thought I’d mention, The Girl on The Train, starring Emily Blunt and some other well known faces. Based on the great book by Paula Hawkins of the same name, I was expecting great things from this thriller, hoping it would be adapted as well as, if not better, than Gone Girl. 

But I was wrong. The Girl on the Train was a decent film, but compared to the book, it really fell short on a lot of places. Emily Blunt was, in my eyes, a great choice for the main character of Rachel. A depressed alcoholic with a slight obsession with her ex-husband who cheated on her and is now living in the house they lived together with his new wife and child, you can’t blame her for being a little out of sorts. Justin Theroux, who played the ex-husband Tom, was also a great fit, but one big thing really let the film fall short for me.

The setting. The book is set in London, in all its glorious grittiness, it’s dark, miserable weather, cramped train journeys where all there is to look out at is rows of wall to wall houses. The setting matched the story line perfectly, emulated it even, and almost became it’s own character by the end. But in the film, they changed the setting to New York, with a train journey that goes behind these stunning houses, with balconies and huge gardens that the sun shines over. Even if I had not read the book and already had the setting of London in my mind, I think the setting still would have stood out as wrong to me. Juxtapositions between setting and story line can be effective, but in this case, it seemed…unrealistic, and took away from what the setting created before.

Overall, the film was okay, but it really didn’t give justice to the amazing psychological thriller that Hawkins wrote. Emily Blunt’s performance was amazing, believable, and passionate, but the other women characters in the film came across stereotypical and flat, and the constant cuts to past and present were enough to give me whiplash.

PSYCHO CINDERELLA’S RATING – 5/10

Have you watched any of these films this year? What did you think? Is there any 2016 films you think I should see before the end of the year? Let me know in the comments!

MY DYSLEXIA STORY – I NEVER KNEW I WAS DYSLEXIC UNTIL I WENT TO UNIVERSITY

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creative writing / Essays

photo 5 (6)

Author Jack Kerouac once wrote an article for Writer’s Digest in 1962 that posed the question, ‘Are Writers Born or Made?’

Growing Up

Since I was a child, stories always came to me as easily as speaking did. I made up stories while playing with toy animals, stories when playing games with friends, and stories in my head to send me off to sleep. I had a thirst for reading as a child, and practically devoured books at every chance I got. I was in love with the way that stories could take you to another world and capture and immerse you in it’s world completely.

They say great readers are great spellers, but I had always struggled with spelling. No matter how many times I could look at a word, break it down into sections, if I couldn’t spell it…I couldn’t spell it. Each time I wrote a word that I couldn’t spell, my spelling of it would change, sometimes creating a nearly illegible word. Despite this, my inability to spell never seemed to be much of an issue other than in written work that I couldn’t spell check on a computer. I put a lot of it down to laziness. I was so eager to get my story down on paper, I didn’t want to spend time finding out the correct spelling to things. 

But despite my struggles with spelling, I never had an issue with reading or writing. I looked forward to every English lesson and was practically a ‘teacher’s pet’ to all of the English teachers I ever had. I read books that were at a much higher reading level than my age and achieved A’s in English at GCSE. Writing and reading always has been my passion.

So of course, growing up no one had even a sliver of suspicion that I may have had dyslexia, how could I? Writing was my lifeblood and I thrived from the escapism of reading.

Being Diagnosed

Younger me would never have guessed that two months before my twenty first birthday, I would be diagnosed with a moderate to severe form of dyslexia by an educational psychologist at my university.

Now that I’ve been diagnosed, looking back on my academic endeavors is eye opening. During college when completing A Levels, my love for English Literature was overshadowed by my frustration with writing essays. When it came to starting essays and getting my thoughts down on paper, I would get overwhelmed with ideas that I wanted to include. Usually this would end up with me either including far too many topics in one paragraph and then eventually losing steam, or spending far too long on one topic and subsequently, ‘waffling’. I could never articulately express what was in my head.

anatomy-1751138_1280But university was truly where most of my dyslexia symptoms bubbled to the surface. Studying creative writing, of course I had essays to write and creative portfolios to complete. And even though I was getting good grades, I always felt held back by my inability to properly express myself the way I wanted to. I found myself constantly frustrated by marks I lost on small mistakes. It wasn’t from lack of trying either, with constant proofreading and even re-writing whole essays from scratch, I’d always miss more than one simple grammatical mistake. Mistakes that my lectures assumed were down to rushed work or lack of proofreading, although that was far from the case.

Dyslexia Symptoms

According to the charity Dyslexia Action, “one in ten of the population are expected to have dyslexia.” People tend to associate this learning difficulty with struggling with reading and writing, and seeing words backwards or seeing them move around. Of course these are common symptoms experienced by people with dyslexia, but I never experienced those, and neither do many others. Symptoms like problems with telling from left to right, the inability to notice patterns or not recognizing the separate sounds that make up words are just a few of the symptoms that I have. None of which I ever realised were a part of having dyslexia.

The Relief of Being Diagnosed 

Suddenly many things that I had been silently struggling with had a reason and an answer, and I was awoken to the fact that I had been fighting with a learning disability all along. Although my diagnoses was a shock to not only me but my family, it’s also been incredibly empowering to realise that despite my learning difficulty, I’ve worked hard and still managed to achieve high academic grades, been accepted into university and continued to write even when I’ve hit many mental blocks along the way. And I’m not the only one who feels empowered by their dyslexia diagnoses, Emily on an online forum for people with dyslexia said her adult diagnosis “felt liberating” and explained that having an answer for the aspects she struggled with are “eye opening and a relief to finally know why it is that I struggle with certain things. I no longer think that I’m just stupid.”

Kerouac said in his article that there are ‘born’ writers and writers who are ‘made’. I believe I wasn’t born a writer but born a storyteller, and not made but rather forced into writing, propelled by the innate need to create and tell stories.
I can tell you a great story from the library of them hat I have floating around my head, but I guess I’m still figuring out the whole ‘writing’ thing.

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If you feel you may have dyslexia, or want to learn more about it, Dyslexia Action is a great place to start. Or feel free to email me at psychocinderella21@gmail.com